The next morning the contractions picked up again so the mag dosage was increased. If you have ever known someone who has taken mag, they can tell you that it heats up your body temperature, and leaves you feeling heat from the inside out. Unfortunately this time, the mag did not work and the contractions continued. Our doctor decided to perform an amniocentesis (this is a procedure that involves draining amniotic fluid from the babies’ amniotic sacks). The goal for this procedure was to remove some of the weight pushing down on the cervix, which would in turn slow down contractions. When the doctor began examining Nicole to prepare for the procedure, he gave us the news we DID NOT want to hear. The sack of Baby Girl A was already past the point of no return; the amniocentesis was no longer an option. Our doctor told us to expect the babies to start arriving within the next hour and a half. When the doctor left the room, we called our family members who weren’t there to break the news and told them to start coming towards the hospital. Then we all cried and cried.
Nicole fought valiantly and did her best to hold off the delivery as long as possible hoping for a miracle (turns out Baby Girl A is a fighter just like her mom and was spread eagle over the exit keeping everyone inside). Wednesday morning her water broke. Baby Girl A arrived at 7:58am, followed closely behind by Baby Girl B two minutes later at 8:00am, and Baby Boy C & D, Baby Girl E, and finally Baby Boy F (3 boys and 3 girls) over the next hour.We were so lucky to have been blessed with the 4 hours of time we had to hold them and love on them before He called them home.
Anytime something like this happens, it is very easy to only see the loss and focus on the heartache. As Nicole and I talked about it yesterday and today, it is impossible to not see God’s loving hands moving behind the scenes. The nurses that God provided to watch over Nicole and our babies (Lien, Jenny, Theresa, Devon, and many more) were so loving and caring and uplifting. They even came by to check on Nicole yesterday to see how she was doing!
As a dad and husband, my goal is to protect my family and to love, support, protect and stand up for them. In this situation, I couldn’t. Praise God for Jenny and Theresa (the nurses). They were our kids’ angels. They cleaned them, swaddled them and loved them like they were their own children. They made sure they were never left alone and that they were always held, loved on, and cared for.
While Nicole and I struggle with how to deal with this, we know our babies are running around in Heaven. We know this was all part of God’s plan. God didn’t come back from vacation Tuesday night to find a sticky note on His throne giving Him an update on our babies. He knew this was going to happen. John 9:3 says (paraphrased) “This happened so that the work of God might be displayed in him…”; this means everything is for His glory. He has a purpose beyond understanding of every minute of every hour; some of which may never be known to us. But we MUST have faith and believe in the character of God and trust that this is ultimately for our good.
There is part of a song Hayley Scott sings titled, ‘Thy Will’ that goes like this:
I may never understand
That my broken heart is part of your plan
When I try to pray
All I’ve got is hurt and these four words
THY WILL BE DONE
How true is this? So many times I feel like we get mad when God doesn’t answer our prayers (in this case to save our children) but we have to remember that He knows what will happen for eternity and can see beyond our current trials and tribulations.
While this chapter of our book closes, our journey is far from complete. We cannot thank everyone enough for the countless prayers, thoughts, and well wishes. Nicole and I genuinely felt every single one of them. To those that have kept up with us and the Sixlets, Nicole and I hope that you are able to see the grace, love and provision of God through the good exciting times, and the sorrowful hard times.
We love you guys, and thanks for taking the ride with us. In the coming months there will be good and bad days and moments so please keep us in your prayers.
Nicole & Marshall Hartman